[webmaster] Welcome back to the Encrypted State, citizens. This is our daily meeting. [fishmonger] Hello again, Webb. [ph] So what's on the agenda for today? We gonna DDoS someone? Hack the planet? [webmaster] We are going to be organising a protest. [ph] Well, that’s exciting. [webmaster] Or trying to, at least. I want to test something. [spiderman] I can’t wait. Where is this protest gonna be, Mr. Webb? [webmaster] Facebook. [spiderman] Seriously? [webmaster] We want the protest to be big, right? Facebook is the biggest social network in the world. [webmaster] I’ll send over the link. Share this wherever you can, but not all at once or they’ll know we’re connected. [fishmonger] Is it worth making a fake group on Facebook so if they do investigate us, we’ll look innocent? [webmaster] No, if they’re looking into it they’ll know something’s up anyway. It’s not worth it.
I actually thought it was quite a good idea, but whatever. Webb (which seemed to be “webmaster”’s real name) sent the link as promised, and I copied it over to the regular browser.
- Page not found.
[ph] Uh, mate, your link’s dead. Did you put the wrong one? [spiderman] Is it private? It might be private. Have you tried making it public? [ph] Also, I don’t actually have a Facebook account, so make sure I don’t need that.
Silence for a bit. I guess Webb was sorting it out.
[webmaster] Uh... try now? It’s still showing for me.
Once again, the link was broken.
I had an idea. I loaded up another social media site, reddit, and made a random post with the title “UK ENCRYPTION BAN PROTEST”. Then I copied the link, logged out of my account, and went to the post again.
The post wasn’t there. The same 404 page came up, in fact.
[ph] Oh God. They're censoring the post. [spiderman] What? That’s crazy! [ph] I made a reddit post with the same title and it doesn’t show up for anyone but me. [ph] The same 404 page, even. The gov must be forcing internet providers to censor any posts mentioning encryption. News articles are probably hand picked... [webmaster] As I feared. [fishmonger] I suppose that explains why there haven’t been any other major protests. [ph] Can they even do that? [webmaster] We lost net neutrality, too, remember, so they can technically do whatever they want. [spiderman] Looks like we’re staying down here in the underground, then. [ph] They can’t stop physical protests. [fishmonger] How would we organise them, though? I imagine private messages will also be blocked. [webmaster] The real solution, of course, is to simply expand the Encrypted State. [spiderman] Oh yeah, that’s way easier. [fishmonger] Who can we trust, Webb? [webmaster] We trusted Stephen, and he’s been fine. [fishmonger] We took a week to decide to add him. We carefully chose him as he had the widest reach and most interest. [ph] Aww, you guys! Thank you! [fishmonger] What I'm saying is we either have to speed up and risk something going wrong or not bother with this. [webmaster] We can take the risk. We haven’t committed any crimes other than using encryption. [spiderman] Yeah, I guess. [fishmonger] If you’re sure. [ph] Let’s get some new recruits, then! [webmaster] Sounds good. Meeting adjourned.
I just remembered that I wanted to go back to a normal life. Ha.